In Debrah Tannen’s essay on “Why Is It So Hard For Men and Women to Talk to Each Other,” she tries to inform us of this lack of communication between men and women and the problems that it can cause. The author starts off by giving the reader an example of a situation involving a man and his wife where the husband would comment on how much his wife is the talker in the family and how she is always talking when she is at home. This demonstrates that men generally talk more in public situations, while women tend to talk more at home. She follows up by talking about how most of the women that divorced gave lack of…
“Sex, Sighs, and Conversation: Why Men and Women Can’t Communicate” was written by Deborah Tannen. He explained to men and women that several divergent assumptions between them, which causes theirs talking, thinking and behavior in different ways. Deborah Tanne used examples and comparing to support his viewpoint. In this article, Deborah Tannen explained by many examples.…
In “Sex, Lies and conversation” Tannen expresses, the distinct differences of both men and women in the way they converse with each other. Such as, men tend to listen rather than converse and women tend to expect a certain response to everything they say. While both genders seem to have their differences Tanner, examines the underlying method of how both gender converse.…
There are some distinct differences between how men and women use and understand communication. There are differences in how we approach, laugh, or relate to a conversation based on the genders of each party that may arise in some challenges. Understanding of how each gender interacts with certain topics makes…
Women's discussions, gossip or whatever you may call it is based on establishing a connection between the women that leads to a discussion of shared values. Tannen compares the two sexes to find men use their conversation as a type of competition or a way to preserve their independence. For example, men talk about their knowledge regarding sports, cars, business, ext. Meanwhile, women try to foster intimacy with others through a more personal communication. In the short story, "Near Pala" we see the characters demonstrating a perfect example of exactly that. The story starts out with the men in the front, controlling the vehicle and discussing business while the women in the back are lost in conversation of pregnancies and vacations abroad. According to Tannen, women use language to achieve intimacy, resulting in what she calls "rapport talk." For women, "talk is the glue that holds relationships together," and so conversations are "negotiations for closeness in which people try to seek and give confirmation and support, and to reach consensus." Men, on the other hand, use language to convey information, resulting in what Tannen calls "report talk." Because men maintain relationships through other activities, conversation for them becomes a negotiation for status, which explains why men debate more frequently amongst each other than women.…
In this chapter, Floyd (2011) discusses the many ways that gender affects interpersonal relationships. He describes is as a “defining feature of our identity, shaping the way we think, look, and communicate” (p. 51). It is explained that each gender culture puts emphasis on different parts of the relationship. Women come to value communication and closeness, while men value taking part in activities together (Floyd, 2011, p. 57). This makes sense when I think about how I communicate with men versus with women.…
To define these communication conundrums, Tannen discusses "rapport-talk" and "report-talk". She defines "rapport-talk" as "For most women, the language of conversation is primarily a language of rapport: a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships" (Cooper and MacDonald 10). Rapport-talk has its strong points focused on showing similarities and matching experiences. Women choose private speaking as the best places for communication. They like small settings and small groups of people that they know well. Tannen uses "report-talk" to explain how men communicate. "Report-talk" is "For most men, talk is primarily a means to preserve independence and negotiate and maintain status in a hierarchical social order" (Cooperand MacDonald 10). Men choose to communicate in public settings, they like to hold center stage by talking as much as possible and to be recognized and acknowledged as having a place in the social order. But as Tannen states, "even the most private situations can be approached like public speaking, more like giving a report than establishing a rapport" (Cooper and MacDonald 10).…
The fact that men and women are different in their communication styles is understandable. They differ in the way they think and it shows in the way they talk and communicate with each other. Though their communication is unlike each other, we do speak the same language –to each gender it just might have a different meaning, connotations or personal messages.…
From Deborah Tannen’s essay “Sex, Lies and Conversation” I feel as though she is expressing her personal view of the different communication styles amongst men and women. In the essay, she writes “…American men tend to talk more than women in public situations, they often talk less at home.” (Tannen 408) Her expression of the American gender roles is very simple, masculinity among men and femininity among women, even something as direct as communication. Men really take over in social settings. Men are associated with the idea of this big masculine man so they feel as though they must prove themselves worthy in a crowd, per say. At home, they are reserved and simple. Being the man of the house, the husband, father, fiancé, etc. expects his…
For as long as mankind can recall, the seemingly effortless act of communication between women and men has always been more intricate than what meets the eye. While the struggle to clearly understand what one another is conveying resides in all relationships, men and women unceasingly endure such communicational ambiguities more than most. However, the reasons for these interactional frustrations are only natural; in fact, particular psychological attributes that are limited to a certain sex can be accredited for this. These specific characteristics often end up hindering the most basic and convoluted forms of human interface, and have the potential to even jeopardize friendships and partnerships. It is these qualities that lead both men and women to feel unheard when engaging with one another, causing the two to believe that there…
What is the importance of communication? Communication is an important life skill that helps to people connect by building respect and trust; it can resolve differences in the environment. In Deborah Tannen’s essay “Sex, Lies and Conversations” she highlights the different styles of communication of man and woman. Tannen opens her essay with an anecdote that grabs the reader’s attention with her own personal experiences. Tannen discusses how men and women communicate with each other, how different the ways of communications for opposite sexes are, and how this can…
In reading Deborah Tannen’s essay “You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation,” I was found to believe that the main idea of this essay was the language of everyday conversation. The subject of Deborah Tannen’s essay would be in my opinion the difference in which males and females use communication skills. When it comes to men, they seem to talk more if they were sitting next to a female. Also a boys way of communicating with other boys, was not by talking, but by more of engaging in activities with them. As with females, they actually engaged in communicating. They mostly sit and talk, and tell secrets to one another.…
Tannen describes how differences in communication start in the childhood socialization. For young girls, conversation is the cornerstone of friendship. By sharing secrets, thoughtsm feelings, and impressions, girls and women build intimacy in their relationships. Where as young boys build relationsips by doing things together. Young boys are more inclusive with each other, creating larger groups of friends. Within these large groups, boys compete with each other to avoid the subordinate position. Intimate conversation is a form of weakness for boys and men, leaving one to feel as the subordinate just like a child listening to an adult.…
“Although at times differences in women 's and men 's communication styles seem to be constant and overwhelming, they are really quite minor. For example, both women and men can be nurturing, aggressive, task-focused, or sentimental. What is important to think about, however, is that women and men sometimes perceive the same messages to have different meanings. In fact, it may be as a result of the differences in message interpretation that the "battle of the sexes" occurs. Studies indicate that women, to a greater extent than men, are sensitive to the interpersonal meanings that lie "between the lines" in the messages they exchange with their mates.”…
way. (Lakoff 627) If the two genders do communicate in the same way, there is…